Just a few words to add to the positive thinking concept as previously mentioned; the Dalai Lama agrees totally to creating and reinforcing the mindset of positive thinking. The “how” is through the process (ever ending) of learning, training and getting use to new viewpoints. Realistically, he suggests that if after all your efforts you cannot find a positive angle to a person’s act, then for the for this time the best course of action may be simply try to forget it!
I smiled when I thought about this – obviously simple and possibly effective (depending on the situation).
If integrity is one of your core values you may find a situation like this challenging.
The dynamics of “win/lose” and the emotional aftermath expends positive and proactive energy, this is not very helpful to the “why” (main issue or problem) of the situation in the first place. You cannot change another person’s behaviour – this is where free will comes into our behaviour. You may educate, encourage or influence another’s thoughts, thinking and feelings – change of behaviour rests with the individual.
As you are aware, our behaviour (words, gestures and actions), are our responsibility – we own the consequences. Perhaps the helpful thinking here is that the situation is another opportunity for learning and thinking more creatively. How?
Proactively go back to the “why” of the situation.
This may bring the thinking closer together for a more positive outcome for all. If it matters, then it’s worth trying.
Just a thought, thank you for your time.
Kindness always (especially to yourself) and remember to listen.
The Art of Happiness
20th Anniversary Edition
His Holiness The Dalai Lama
& Howard C. Cutler. 2018